Many unexpected things are happening in my life at the moment.

I actually deferred my studies for one semester.

Shocking and definitely unexpected.

But that's life. Right?

Right now, I'm focusing on healing myself.

Slowly and surely.

Another unexpected thing is that I found love in between what happened.

This proves that even during war, love blossoms.

I pray to Allah that this love will be the endgame.

He feels so right.

It's not perfect, though.

With him, I don't lose myself.

I can still feel myself, my core.

He walks beside me, equally. 

Fear & Hope

I'm scared.

I feel so hopeless.

I feel like breaking down.

The thought of teaching next year scares me.

I can only pray and hope.

Ya Allah, You're the Most Hearing. Strengthen my heart and my will, erase my fears and help myself go through this journey. Please guide me to the right path... amin ya rabb.

May Allah grant my prayers.

Anyway, I'm ready to write the full paper now.

I have finished visualizing the first dimension.

Maximum words are 3,000 words.

I have to check the guidelines also.

Data Visualization

Now, comes the next step.

It's time for visualizing my data.

I'M SO EXCITED.

I watched this YouTube video by Dr. Adu Philip (NVivo for Beginners: Visualizing Your Findings). 

It was a simple tutorial and I learned a lot.

Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YefISJUAFks

I tried some while watching his video.

I have saved a few images for my paper/thesis.

I plan to finish this step in a few days.

I hope to find the right literature reviews to support my findings.

By the way, miracles happen if you believe in them.

I pray Allah to bless me with miracles!

Next Step

I'm currently at 17 out of 18 samples that need analysis.

However, this is only for dimension 1 out of 2. HAHA.

Anyway, the next step is to learn how to visualise my findings.

I'm still contemplating whether to show my findings case by case or as a whole.

This research is a case study, by the way.

I don't know, ugh!!! 

My supervisor hasn't texted me yet. 

She was supposed to update me yesterday.

The one thing I learned during my PhD is to never wait for their approval.

This is my research anyway. 

I have sole control over this. (I hope!)

I need to submit my full paper by the end of this October.

My supervisors need to check the paper before I submit it to the conference.

As I analyse my data, I can't help but feel excited. 

I can't wait to show the world the final product.

I know this research would not be a groundbreaking one but it surely is unique.

No one has done this topic before.

I pray to Allah to ease my affairs and help me every time I'm stuck.

NVIVO

I don't know why I have no motivation to analyse my data.

I'm still on sample number 9 out of 18.

I've been procrastinating lately since I got the news that I have to extend another semester.

Maybe because of the effects of having GERD (it's painful btw!)

Still, I enjoy analysing my data using NVIVO. 

I'm wondering if it's normal to have so many codes under the main codes. HAHA.

I don't know, but I'm just going to keep moving forward.

I pray may Allah strengthens my will and heals my disease. 

Amin, Amin, Amin.

Bad News, Good News.

LOL! Let me laugh first.

It turns out not only I haven't fulfilled one more requirement to graduate but two.

My PhD colleague told me yesterday that all PhD candidates are required to teach tutorials for at least one module during our candidature.

I plan to work next year because my scholarship will end this December and I will no longer receive government allowance.

Hmm...

Still, I want to work next year, just a part-time job.

So, there are FIVE things I need to do to graduate;

1) Present at one more conference/seminar (soon).

2) Publish one more article in a refereed journal (prayed hard for this).

3) Teach one tutorial for one semester.

4) SUBMIT MY THESIS.

5) PASS THE VIVA VOCE.

Now, I delegate all my affairs to Allah the Almighty. 

I can only do so much. 

May Allah grant me strength and ease my affairs.

The good news is my abstract has been accepted.

Also, it's been confirmed that I will present at an online conference this December.

Yay!

3rd Year, Final Sem

My first blog since 2020?

Whoa, I can't believe this is my final semester already. 

BUT, it's been confirmed that I will extend another semester.

I have no choice but to do that.

I finished my data collection only at the end of February this year.

Now, I'm still analysing my data using NVIVO.

However, I'll do my best to finish all the chapters and submit all the drafts by December.

Also, I have to join one more conference and publish one more article.

The requirement to graduate is to attend and present at two seminars/conferences and publish two articles.

On top of that, I have to think about my current financial situation.

I pray to Allah to ease my affairs. 

I'm 32 and will be 33 this November In shaa Allah.

I'm trying to delay as much as I can about the marriage situation.

I'm still single by the way, and people are busy asking me when I'm going to get married.

I have to meet someone first but that's not my priority now.

I HAVE TO GRADUATE FIRST!

AND I HAVE TO GET A JOB!

Now, I can only do my best and let Allah do the rest.